


timeless

by psycho_raven



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Study, Established Relationship, Inspector era, Kougami is dumb as fuck, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Pre-Canon, and one flash fordward? but like from a different timeline, asking parents for approval, flash backs, like really AU they even discuss this being a alternative timeline, no beta we die like men, prententious references because Kougami is like that, really pretentious divergent timelines discussion, what if, you will get it i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psycho_raven/pseuds/psycho_raven
Summary: "(...) The Garden of the Forking Paths, Deleuze used that story to illustrate the possibility of the simultaneous existence of several disjoint worlds that encompass all possibilities.”“All the possibilities?”“All of them, Gino”
Relationships: Ginoza Nobuchika/Kougami Shinya
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	timeless

The times when it wasn’t fast and clothed-- (Kougami pulled his tie off and Gino choked a protest with his lips open. _Kougami don't wrinkle my suit_ , Gino wanted to say but Kougami was a dog and ate his mouth before he could mutter any protest), when it didn’t happen behind the locked doors of an unoccupied office. The times when it wasn’t like that, they always stayed awake after fucking. 

Both of them pretending they weren’t. As if time and distance didn't weigh on them.

Ginoza felt a pair of long fingers cling to his hip and didn’t want to reveal himself by looking down to see the way they were marked on his white skin. 

He didn’t want Kougami to know he was awake. He didn’t want Kougami--

 _I don't want to know why he isn't asleep or why he doesn't announce his presence_ , he thought. No dog is kind enough to pretend and Gino knew him well enough to realize that it took more than a couple of orgasms to bring him down. _I don't want to remember, get up and just leave_. 

But he didn’t say it and nobody left and they didn’t know if the night was too long or too short. They didn’t know what the night was made for.

Maybe Kougami never slept. Those fingers that refused to let go of their grip gave him away. Maybe Kougami didn’t sleep anymore. 

Perhaps that was the only clue he gave Gino to say: _I am also clinging to what is left, I am also staying._

_For now._

*

For Kougami there were three persons in the room.

He felt the mattress of the bed sink with the weight of a third body, a familiar silhouette in the corner of his eye and he didn’t know what was worse, didn’t know what he wanted more. For the silhouette to disappear or to solidify when he turned his head to face it. 

Sasayama sat on the mattress and lighted a cigar. Sasayama always did that, before. He always interrupted them.

But it’s not before. Kougami closed his eyes so hard that he saw colored spots on his eyelids and didn’t notice how his fingers were marked on the white skin of Ginoza’s hip.

Sasayama always interrupted them, but he never did that of sitting on the bed while they were naked and still covered in cum and sweat. Too much of a man, too macho, _You really don’t like women, Kougami? What the fuck-- No, no, there's nothing wrong, more for me. But still what the fuck. Although Gino-sensei has his thing._

_I'm going to break your face._

_I never thought you were the jealous type, uh-huh. It seems I'm going to have fun with this._

Sasayama was smoking at the foot of the bed and Kougami thought _, you're not having fun, son of a bitch, the dead can't have fun._

*

And what if the dead have a better time than the living? And what if dying is the easiest part, what if the drama is to stay?

 _Don't use the dead as an excuse!_ Gino yelled once. The answer was the hollow sound of the door violently closing, Kougami's steps echoing far away. 

This is how a breaking heart sounds. This is how it looks when you stab it yourself.

*

“I'm trying to sleep, Shinya.”

“You always call me like that in private, heh.”

“You could try it too, call me by my name.”

“Everyone calls you Nobuchika, but I’m the only one who calls you Gino.”

“Just keep talking about your books.”

“Okay, look. It's about time, Gino. the paradox of the contiguous futures...”

“I might keep sleeping.”

“No, not yet. Listen to me only this time, okay? The Garden of the Forking Paths, Deleuze used that story to illustrate the possibility of the simultaneous existence of several disjoint worlds that encompass all possibilities.”

“All the possibilities?”

“All of them, Gino” 

*

_There is a world where you pull the trigger and look me in the eye and it's too late for me but I smile anyway._ _There is another where we got married, one where I never threw myself into the abyss or dragged you with me._

_There is a world where we forget each other and that’s the one I like the least, I prefer the one where you pull the trigger, I prefer that you take me with you even if it is a particle of me, you know how terrible I can be._

_There is one where I never became this terrible, we just stayed on the rope without knowing it was loose, and we were always inspectors and we were always our youngest and most naive version. And we never stop believing in things like love._

_I don't envy them._

_Sometimes I envy the Kougami on the other side of the Dominator's cannon whose trigger you pulled._

_Other times I envy the Kougami who didn't leave._

_I always envy the one who keeps kissing you._

_*_

Sasayama told him: _drop the books for a fucking moment and watch a movie with me._ and Kougami chose a romance one because he had just finished an especially horrible case, one of those that made him sink his head in cold water and hold his breath, one of those about children losing their parents and parents losing their children, those that made him hold Gino tightly to keep the pieces together.

It took Sasayama by surprise that he didn’t choose another noir, with wide-brimmed hats and long-legged ladies Kougami never looked at. 

But Sasayama also had his romantic quota (“ _I love women so much” “I know and every time you repeat it I want to go back to my boyfriend's house” “softie” “pig”_ ) so instead of questioning him too much, he looked for a romantic movie.

"Love or revolution? _"_ Kougami muttered breathlessly as Casablanca’s credits passed.

“What would you have chosen?” Sasayama asked.

“I wouldn't have ended up in that dilemma, Gino wouldn't have married anyone else. We would make the revolution together.”

“Fuck, better if Sybil doesn't listen to you. I think I felt your crime coefficient rise.”

“Funny.”

“But seriously, it's a hypothetical situation. it doesn't even have to be Gino-sensei…” One look was enough for Sasayama to clear his throat and correct. 

“Ginoza, whatever. Think of a hypothetical man and then answer.”

“Sasayama, It can't _not_ be Gino.”

Sasayama would have liked to burst out laughing with such a cheesy confession said with such a serious face, but he thought about Sybil and the world that was out there and felt almost sorrow - no pity, just sadness. _Sybil wasn’t made for lovers_ , he thought.

“Put another movie, Sasayama.”

“More romance?”

“Since we are in that line.”

When the song of The Way We Were credits began to play, Sasayama would have sworn that Kougami was on the verge of tears. 

Only on the edge because hell was going to freeze the day that animal cried-- But wow, close enough to be considered one of the greatest achievements of their friendship.

“Is everything okay there, champion?” He asked with a friendly elbow at the height of the ribs.

“Why didn't I watch this before?” The glow in Kougami's eyes drifted away from tears and seemed snatched away by a sudden realization.

“Because all you do is read, or invest yourself too much in your cases or be with Gino...za.”

Kougami clicked his tongue. Sasayama raised an eyebrow.

“It's a shame that Gino doesn't like these things.”

“You're joking, right? Oh shit, you never joke.”

Sasayama didn't know if Kougami was talking about romantic movies or romance in general. It turned out that Kougami was talking a little about both, a little something else, a little bit of everything.

 _Let the devil take me_ , Sasayama murmured rather to himself. “To end up giving you advice for your relationship with Ginoza, of all people.”

“I'm going to kill you if this gets out of here.”

“Oh, I'm going to kill myself. Don't worry.”

Kougami came home thinking. He did that often, think of an unsolved case or a book yet to finish. But that day he returned home thinking about Gino.

That night he dreamed of school. 

He dreamed about gentle hands knotting his tie, about the afternoons they spent on the school roof, his head resting on Gino's lap who studied the notes for the next class. He read a book and Gino scolded him but in the end, his words always became gentle, like the murmur of the waves against the rocks on the coast. 

None of them had seen the sea so he said: _Oi, Gino. when we graduate we should go to the beach, we could go see your mom too._

Gino's fingers froze for a few seconds within his black hair and Kougami felt him stop breathing for a moment. Then he replied: _we can take Dime, he has never gone to the beach._

He dreamed that whole summer and when he woke up he sent a message to Gino that said:

> Let’s have breakfast together. We haven't had a date in a while, book your next day off.

And to Sasayama:

> I have to marry him.

*

He wasn't that terrible at the time. 

( _There's a world where it stayed that way and God, it wasn’t bad, even if you didn't know about rebellion or freedom, you couldn't complain about that ending_ ). 

The still-not-inspector Kougami told his best friend: _This is our last summer._ So he leased a car and took it to the beach, Dime's wet nose stuck against the glass and the whole world was out there.

“The results of the exam are going to be ready when we come back” Gino mentioned looking out the window. The wind messed up his hair and Kougami looked at him sideways. The image made him tighten his grip on the accelerator.

“Are you worried? We are going to pass.” 

“I wish I had your ability to not worry about a single thing.”

“I worry about things,” Kougami replied, his gaze conveniently on the road. He never elaborated on what things worried him.

Mrs. Ginoza's house was on the road and Kougami muttered: _it’s a beautiful place where your mother lives_. And Gino said nothing. The moment he put a foot on the residence, he was suddenly silent. 

He wished he could get angry at the way Kougami entered lightly and swung to his mother's side to speak to her with the naturalness of old friends. His mother, eternally immobile and expressionless.

He wished he could find it irritating, to pretend a conversation impossible to happen. But in the end, it really made him feel a little less miserable, less sad.

Kougami always made him feel a little happier.

“Ma’am, this is a secret so don't tell your son anything, okay? but I want to ask him out, I think I will when we enter the department and become detectives.

Would you give me your blessing?

I knew you would say yes.”

Gino thought that Kougami made up the conversations to make him feel better, but Kougami was really talking to her. And Sae was listening.

*

They arrived at the beach. 

Kougami took off his shirt and touched the water with his fingertips, his whole body following after. Gino gasped, a couple of steps back he watched him raise his arms to the sky and swallow the sun. _Kougami can’t be from this world_ , he thought. Kougami belonged to another life, one in which people lived forever.

They arrived at the beach. 

Ginoza climbed some rocks, rolled up his pants, and let his feet touch the water surface just where the pools formed. He took off his glasses and the wind messed up his hair, sticking the black strands to his forehead. Kougami suddenly felt the need of knowing how to paint, write, or sculpt to keep it that way forever.

  
*

“Kougami, listen to me.”

“Sounds serious.”

“I'm serious... Now that we're detectives if something happens to me... Don't look at me like that, it can happen. Listen to me first. If something happens, I want you to take care of my mother.”

“. . .”

“Shinya?”

“It's fine, but it's the same for you. If something happens to me, you take care of mine.”

“... Does that mean that you're finally going to introduce me to your mother?”

“Yeah, it’s time for her to meet my famous boyfriend.”

*

Kougami was always potentially terrible, there was always something about-to-be inside of him. 

He tensed his own tightrope but crossed it with enough skill so that the hunch Gino kept in his chest would remain just like that. Ignoring the alerts that fired from the first day he saw him.

He should have guessed it when Kougami pushed him against the wall of the restroom after his first case and said:

“Oi Gino”, his face too close to his and Nobuchika felt mortified. 

“What do you want, Kougami? We're in the middle of a case in my division and I don't have time for distractions--” 

He never finished the sentence because Kougami ate his mouth and kissed him like only those who can be terrible do, the most wonderful men of all. With the frenzy of a youth that is not yet lost but with the maturity of adulthood full of noble things. With something wild that Gino never thought could exist under Sybil, with its rules and its paths without bifurcation, all righteous and straight.

“Date me, Gino”. He spoke with his mouth glued to Gino’s and each word felt like another kiss when his lips brushed like that.

“What--?” Ginoza was convinced that he had just gone mad. While Kougami, with all the adrenaline of his first case resolved, was sure that he had lost his mind but not even Sybil was going to stop him now. 

“You heard me, Gino. Date me. You kissed me back so that can only mean--”

Then it was Nobuchika who didn’t let him finish, as if he needed Kougami of all people to tell him what the hell it meant that he had kissed him back as if his life were going away and he died of hunger and thirst and Kougami was all that he could satiate him and more.

“I even asked your mom for permission, when we went in the summer.”

How was he supposed to say no?

“... what about Masaoka?” he questioned pretending he didn't want to ask but really wanting to. 

“That’s a joke? Your old man loves me!” And Kougami laughed as he only did with him and Gino knew that he was lost, damned, cursed and blessed all at the same time.  
  


*  
  


One time they looked at their compatibility and started laughing as nobody would ever hear them do, naked and still sweaty, tangled up in bed.

 _Sybil has no eyes on our room, nor between the sheets_. Kougami said to his ear, lowering a hand between his legs and Gino bit his lips to stifle the plea, to stifle the statement that made him agree.

*

> you can’t be serious.
> 
> I'm always serious, sasayama.
> 
> true, ok ... true. shit did I do this?
> 
> Don't give yourself that much credit.

Which meant that the credit was entirely his. Sasayama smiled from ear to ear as he answered the following message. Ignoring the mental gymnastics that had led Kougami to go from ‘Gino doesn't like romance’ to ‘I must marry him’, it was good news.

Reasons to celebrate always were. They were also always needed.

> so when? do you have a plan?
> 
> Yes, early monday at the cafeteria.
> 
> in the cafeteria????? You are going to kill him. you are going to kill gino-sensei.
> 
> I'm going to kill you if you keep calling him like that.

*  
  


Ginoza felt restless, which was strange. He checked his hue like every morning and it showed a pleasant light green color. It must be fatigue, he thought. Everyone was restless with the sudden Psycho-Pass rise in the southern sector. All Divisions were on extra shifts since the last week and he really needed a cup of coffee. 

Curious, he hadn’t seen Kougam yet. Ginoza knew he spent the night in the office so it was suspicious to not see him in the early hours around the cafeteria to consume his first dose of calories.

It must be the tiredness, he repeated. Not that Ginoza missed him so early in the morning when he saw him a couple of hours ago-- a couple? He wasn’t even sure. 

It had been long days and Kougami made him read another of his books, something about crime (as always) and ridiculous temporal theories. He was thinking too much. He was thinking of his fingers clinging to his hips a couple of nights ago-- He needed to sleep his six hours, that’s what he needed. 

Little by little the cafeteria began to crowd and Ginoza was grateful to be finishing his breakfast. 

Masaoka said good morning. Gino was too tired to be harsh and responded with a nod. Masaoka smiled. He checked his hue again and it stayed clear despite the fatigue.

Mondays in the morning were usually the busiest, but it looked like exhaustion had won over the talking because both Inspectors and Enforcers glided silently over the tiles in search of a cup of coffee and something to chew. 

Better that way, Gino thought and kept looking for--

Kougami standing in front of the door. He didn’t look tired and Gino didn’t’ understand how because he hardly slept. One of his many secrets. 

Kougami always looked good, the messy hair unable to comb was part of the look, and Ginoza would envy him if he didn't have him in his bed every night.

“Oi, Gino.”

“Kougami. It’s too early to be talking so loudly.”

He would have liked to greet him with a kiss but it was too crowded and they were professionals. His lips itched anyway. He wondered if it was the same for Kougami. 

“It's about a case …”

Kougami walked towards him, traveling the distance in long strides. There was determination in his eyes and a dangerous glow. Gino wondered what the case was about. Gino envied those cases a little.

“Of course it’s about a case …”

Ginoza sighed. He drank his coffee, adjusted his glasses, and looked up.

“Tell me about it.” 

Kougami was holding his gaze with such intensity that Gino felt the air between them thick. Then he noticed Sasayama staring at the scene a few meters away.

“A case with Sasayama?”

“No. Is not.”

Ginoza frowned. It must be serious, that ‘no’ was too rushed, too pressing.

“It’s _our_ case, an important one. I can't do it without you, Gino. I need you for this.”

Nobuchika had no idea what this case was about but Kougami made it sound like the most important thing in the world and by God, he convinced him of it. 

He looked at Gino with those eyes, with that expression he wore when talking about noble and important things. 

He said ‘I need you’ and Gino knew immediately that he was going to get right into whatever Kougami asked. 

“Kougami ...?”

“I sent you the data, give it a look.”

He could wait to get to the office, but Nobuchika already finished his coffee, and Kougami had his eyes fixed on him in a way that made it so intimate that he found it impossible to say no. 

Gino brought a hand to his bracelet and opened the hologram with Kougami's message, taking his eyes off him just to read what it says: 

> Ginoza Nobuchika. Would you marry me?

There is a reality in which this never happened and there is another in which it’s happening right now. 

Ginoza thought about the possibility of belonging to the first reality and be dreaming. Or be dead. Or have gone crazy. It could also be a cruel joke because Kougami didn’t know how to joke and Sasayama would break up laughing at any moment.

 _Time is relative_ , Kougami once told him and Ginoza never felt it as much as when he raised his head and the seconds that passed from having his gaze fixed on the hologram to looking at Kougami became eternal. 

Every second was a rush of blood from his heart he felt directly into his ears.

Kougami was kneeling in front of him holding a small box with a ring. As it was done before Sybil. As Masaoka told him once so many years ago, how he asked his mother to marry.

“Oi, Gino. Will you marry me? That’s the case, the most important.”

He should have cared more about being in the middle of the cafeteria with everyone watching the scene but Gino couldn’t conceive that there were more people than Kougami and him in the world right now.

And he couldn’t see anyone else when the tears blurred his crystals and he muttered, he screamed, sobbed that _yes, yes, yes, yes, oh god, yes, yes, Shinya. Yes!_ And he didn’t know if he pulled him up for the hug and the kiss or if Kougami was faster and threw himself over, covering him with his arms so that no one saw how he fell apart in tears even if everyone suspected it by the way he sobbed and said his name between hiccups. 

The whole cafeteria broke into applause and suddenly nobody was tired anymore. 

Sasayama laughed but not because it was a joke, although he had everything documented, he warned them, but none had room in their swollen heart to get angry. 

Kougami extended an arm to put it on his shoulders and muttered: _Maybe you do have a little credit._

Masaoka put a warm hand on Nobuchika's shoulder and whispered a congratulation that only made him cry more. 

Perhaps it was the emotion of the moment that made him say _thank you, dad_ or was as simple as that everything would be fine, everything would be better.

Kougami only accepted a couple more congratulations before pulling the curious away with both arms around Gino. He was always so good taking care of him; _Shoo, shoo, we're engaged._

Nobuchika couldn’t contain the meaning of that prayer inside his heart, but Shinya's tie was soaked in his tears and he was sure that when sleeping that night, he would dream of the sea’s waves and the summer’s breeze. 

  
*

“Do you want to know a secret?”

“I'm undecided but go ahead.”

“On my last day off I went with your old man to see your mother. There I asked both of them for permission… I read that it was something people did before Sybil, asking the boyfriend’s hand to their parents.”

“Was that the day you disappeared? Shinya!”

“Don't scold me, it was a good cause.”

“... And she said yes?”

“She was delighted.”

*

_There is a world where we never see each other again. Call me cheesy, but I like this one more._


End file.
